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First published in Foxprint, Fall 2002.
At the heart of mentoring and educating children is knowing the youth that you are with. Encouraging children and honoring their achievements is a foundational component of all of Wilderness Awareness School’s programs.
It feels good to be heard, to be recognized, and then to celebrate amongst your peers. We like a good party. Students of all ages have these cravings, and it is the job of the mentor to really know their students, so that specific, authentic praise serves as a stimulus to further growth.
For children especially, praise that points the way to the next challenge is an electric moment, kindling mind, heart, and body into motion.
Our abilities in creating authentic praise come with an eye, ear, and heart that is sensitive to each child, group of children, or classroom. No matter what the subject, if the needs and desires of the children aren’t met, common “adulterations” like “Good job!” or “You’re doing great!” may fall flat.
It doesn’t matter if they completed the lesson, or got a coal with their bow drill; what is important is that each of their personal or group intentions were recognized and honored.
We should remember that what we educators often focus on, like how enthusiastically our students complete their projects and assignments, are really just the vehicle for creating healthy and happy human beings. A great example of this occurred at our Advanced Survival Skills Camp this summer.
Fourteen youth were gathered in a circle to use the friction fire kits that they had spent the week carving. As they worked, the instructors used differing praise for similar situations. Two children, both producing copious amounts of smoke, couldn’t have been more different. One was frustrated by their inability to produce a glowing coal and the other was exhilarated by the smoke they made.
For the first, a co-instructor acknowledged their correct body posture and then added a few “carving tips” to improve their kit. For the second, I reflected the child’s enthusiasm with my own, and then demonstrated how they could get even more smoke if they altered their body posture. They both ended up getting coals that day.
These children both had their needs met: they were supported with teachings, encouragement, and listening. Can you imagine if all the attention the first child received was, “Great job, you’re getting a lot of smoke!” In their mind they could be saying, “I can’t make it work. I’m not any good at this.”
By listening you cannot help but begin to notice the gifts, passions, fears, and wonders that children carry with them. A mentor looks to call these forth in a supportive atmosphere. A question I ask myself as I listen is, “Is my listening serving this child’s need to express and be heard?”
At our Youth Programs and Summer Camps, there always seems to be a few kids who interrupt talking (or even better--listening) circles with: “Once, when I was five, umm…I had this hamster...and umm…my cat looked like it was dancing…and then, umm…”. What seems like inappropriate stories or moments are our cues that these kids need a positive environment tailored to their gifts.
These natural leaders and storytellers will thrive in an intentionally created space that allows them to showcase their gifts to peers and mentors. Last year a 12-year-old girl in our Youth School directed classmates and teachers alike as she prepared to sing a song for us. We sat where she asked, we altered our body posture as she requested, and then she sang in front of us for her first time, a beautiful, heart-felt ballad that brought both applause and tears.
Children will always amaze us. Their voices are beautiful; their eyes open to the world! Listen and guide them well with praise that comes from knowing where their heart is. Encouraging children in your life is rewarding for everyone.
Daniel Evans instructed and directed many programs at Wilderness Awareness School. Before leaving in summer 2005, he was director of the Community School where he spent many years encouraging children.
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